The journey of infertility is incredibly difficult no matter what time of year it is. The heartbreak and uncertainty of your future have you in a constant state of fear and desire, but navigating infertility during the holidays can be one of the most difficult times of your journey.
Infertility was a part of my story for a long time and it seemed like all my treatments and heartbreaks happened during the holiday months. Each year I tried my best to do things to lessen the pain and heartbreak I faced.
Here are a few tips and tricks, or better yet distractions to navigate infertility during this holiday season.
Date your spouse
Sounds obvious, right? Sometimes I think we often forget how our partner is feeling through it all and with that comes the lack of attention we give to each other. What better season to celebrate each other by enjoying one’s company. Maybe it’s a night out in the city, a fancy restaurant downtown, or even a night in with a good Netflix movie and a bottle of expensive wine. Do something that you both enjoy, and remember they may just be feeling the very same way you are.
Take care of yourself
Self-care is something I feel like we always hear about and talk about, but never do. It is always on the to-do list – but at the bottom – and never completed. In this season of life, try to do the things that make you happy, that ease the stress, and let you escape for a little bit. That may be a hair appointment, a pedicure, a massage, a hike on the mountain solo, or a shopping spree.
Remember the “what ifs” or “could have been”
When it comes to infertility everyone’s journey is very different, but many go through the pain of failed cycles and miscarriages. As if infertility didn’t hurt enough, losing something you have dreamt of makes it even harder. Please don’t be ashamed during this season to memorialize and remember the “what ifs”. For example, you could buy a stocking ornament with an initial or the year inscribed and hang it up on your tree. This way, year after year you can hang it up in remembrance.
Find your tribe
Supportive friends are crucial during this time. What is so great about this day and age is that you can find your tribe instantly through social media if you don’t have local friends that understand what you are going through. Opening up about my infertility journey on social media allowed me to reconnect with friends from high school and college that were going through it too. It is nice to have a friend or two that you can text at the drop of a hat when you pass the baby section at Target, or when you see a pregnancy or birth announcement on Facebook.
Understand that joy and pain can coexist
Joy is found at every corner and marketed well during this season so remember that you can still be joyful during a time of pain. Joy and pain can coexist in your life. Just because you are smiling, trying to enjoy the night out with friends, or opening presents with your family, doesn’t mean that you aren’t hurting. It does mean that you are taking what life has given to you and making the absolute best of it. And that is a-okay.
