Dear Employer,
My son turned 12 weeks old this week. If Massachusetts hadn’t implemented a new maternity leave policy last year, I’d be back to work on Monday. But I assure you, you don’t want me back – not yet. There are lots of opinions about how hard it is for moms to go back to work so quickly, and that providing a wage during that time would allow more moms to take the time they need to bond with, and care for their tiny babies, and recover from a major physical event, and possibly surgery. But that’s not what this letter is about.
Mentally, I am a wreck. Last week, I showed up to a playground meet up an hour early. Yesterday, I failed to prepare the necessary documents for a meeting I scheduled with our lawyer to add our son to our will. This morning I sat in my car in the parking lot of a different playground and cried because it was too windy and I hadn’t brought the proper clothing for my baby. I have yet to pack a diaper bag for an outing without at least one item missing. I routinely claim items on my local yard sale group and then forget to pick them up – Routinely.
Can you imagine me trying to lead a meeting right now?
You knew me before kids, and you probably would have described me as type A, highly organized, lover of spreadsheets, detail oriented – maybe even meticulous. I sent calendar invites for dinners with friends. My closet was color coded.
After my daughter was born, I found my way back to those attributes, but with two littles in tow, I’m finding it a little harder. My son basically sleeps through the night, so I can’t even blame it on sleep deprivation anymore.
Some of it’s hormones, I’m sure. But whatever it is, I’m still figuring out how to function with it. I feel like I’m learning how to be an entirely new person.
After my daughter was born, I felt mentally ready to go back to work at 12 weeks. Emotionally, maybe not so much, but mentally, absolutely.
This time, I’m just not there yet.
Here’s to hoping the next two months helps get me there.
Sincerely,
A struggling postpartum mama
Id love to know how you used the mass leave to get more than 12 weeks 🙂 thank you!
So the new MPFML provides 12 weeks of bonding time, and then depending on your employer, you may also be eligible for up to 8 weeks of short term disability, which you can use one after the other to get a total of 20 weeks. The tricky part is that the MPFML doesn’t apply to every employer/employee (unfortunately) and not everyone gets short term disability, so it’s hard to offer any blanket statements as far as how much time you might be able to take. My best advice is to check with your company’s HR department as early as possible to find out what options are available and start filing the necessary paperwork early, because it can take several weeks to get processed. Good luck!!