Tips for Dating Your Spouse

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a couples hands clasped over two glasses of wine on a dateParenting is hard work. Preparing breakfast, chasing around a toddler to get dressed, loading the kids into and out of the car, cleaning up the living room floor for the twentieth time, folding laundry, prepping crafts to keep the kids entertained for 10 minutes, and the list goes on and on. By the time 6pm hits I am counting down the minutes until bath, books, and bed. There is rarely time to even think about doing “fun” stuff once the kids go to bed.

What do I want my kids to know about marriage?

I think about my marriage a lot and what it means to me; being in a partnership, in love with another person, my person. My hope is for our children to grow up knowing their parents were and are in love. It isn’t something that magically happens, it is also a lot of hard work. I want our kids to see Mommy and Daddy talking about how we feel and working together as a team. It is important for me that they witness us grow together in our marriage.

Marriage is the biggest decision I have ever made and something I take very seriously. Someone told me once that you will always love your children, it is a part of who you are as a mother or father. On the other hand, marriage is a choice and a choice you must make every single day to love another person. I want our children to see my husband and I consciously making the choice to love each other through our words and actions. That is why I believe dates are essential to my marriage.

Tips for Dating Your Spouse

  1. Make your relationship, a priority. Designate a day once a week when you are doing something together besides watching Netflix on the couch. Put it in your calendar as an important event so you both look forward to that special day of the week.
  2. Change up your normal routine. Having a weekly babysitter is our down the road goal, but in the meantime we are not going to let that stop us from dating. Using different rooms for date night helps us to get into a different headspace and escape the normal nightly routine.
  3. Do not wait until date night to plan your date night. We have failed to plan countless times and we eventually end up watching a show together, maybe in bed instead of the couch. When you schedule your date night, plan what you are going to do or alternate planning a surprise for the other.
  4. Invest in date night specific games or activities. Even for the couple who has been together for 20 years, you can always learn something new about each other. A couple of our favorites are the Adventure Challenge book and Our Moments Cards.
  5. Do a date night with another couple. We have a game night with another couple and it is something I always look forward to. Instead of constantly planning creative dates (along with the craft projects for my 3-year-old) it is nice to break out some classic board games and just enjoy the company.

Now, find what works for you and your spouse/partner and rediscover why you fell in love!

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