Parenting books. Love them or hate them, there are more than I can count on 2 hands about every stage of a child’s life, from the beginning of pregnancy all the way to the teenage years and beyond. When I was pregnant with my son, I had zero clue about pregnancy, babies, and really anything involving what was happening and what was going to happen. I was not one to plan my future family. Actually, that is a lie – I planned my future dogs. I felt like I was born without any maternal instinct, so when I became pregnant, to say I was a little lost and clueless would be an understatement.
I got all the books.
You know the ones, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” “Your Pregnancy Week by Week,” “The Healthy Pregnancy Book,” and even the book with a bazillion names. They were informative, yes, but they were not what I wanted to read. I did not feel like I could relate to these books in any way. The information was great, but it was like reading school books – I was bored.
It wasn’t until I became pregnant with my daughter that I found a few books I actually WANTED to read. Books that made me laugh so hard I had to get off the couch and waddle to the bathroom. They were funny. They were unapologetically honest and raw. I could relate, especially after already having been through it all once before. I knew what they were talking about. I could even sympathize with some of the stories in the books. So I am here to share those books with you! I hope you check them out and enjoy them, I hope you don’t take them too seriously, and I claim no responsibility if you get stuck on the couch.
To Read During Pregnancy…
It’s Really 10 Months: Delivering the Truth About the Glow of Pregnancy and Other Blatant Lies by Natalie Guenther, Kim Schenkelberg, and Celeste Snodgrass
I read this book when I was pregnant with my daughter. My son was already 2, so I had already gone through this experience once before, but it was in a gift box, so I figured I would give it a shot. This book was hilarious. It is a collection of stories from women who have had a wide range of experiences, from easy births all the way to the difficult ones. Women share the not-so-brilliant things their partners have said or done, and they share what they wish they knew beforehand.
One woman tells the story of a Wendy’s employee telling her that they are out of baked potatoes, when the whole reason she even went there was for that potato. She cried over the potato that never was. Another woman tells the story of crying to her husband, in her delirious state, saying that she didn’t think their new baby liked her because she wasn’t purring while sleeping on her. I know I said some pretty wild things when I had just brought our son home, and I nearly lost it when I could not get hash browns and orange Hi-C at 2pm (this was when McDonald’s was doing breakfast anytime).
This book was like sitting with mom friends, telling the ridiculous stories we all have, and laughing or crying together over them. Just a fair warning, it is not for the faint of heart! The stories are NOT sugar-coated, and I thought that made the stories more real, and the book even better.
Books About Toddlers
The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers by Dawn Dais
I got this book when my son was in the middle of his terrible twos. All I had ever heard was those phrases terrible twos, threenager, and feisty fours, so I wanted something that could help me make sense of what insanity was happening in my house as well as what I could possibly expect in our future.
This book was written with stories by many different moms, which we meet in the beginning of the book. They are women from all walks of life with different jobs, so we know we can relate in one way or another.
With chapters such as “You suck at this: It’s not just your imagination,” “Your judging of other parents comes back to haunt you: Prepare to eat your words, with a side of karma’s a bitch,” and “Your TV has been hijacked: By things with very high-pitched voices,” I spent most of the time nodding my head and laughing until I cried. It was good to know that other families were going through some of the same things I was, things I thought were just too ridiculous to be real. It helped me realize that I was not alone, this IS real, and they’ve all made it out, so I will too. I think.
Toddlers Are A**holes: It’s Not Your Fault by Bunmi Laditan
I felt like I was going to be judged by the bookstore clerk when I was buying this. I didn’t want anyone thinking I don’t love my children – I love them more than anything in the world, but I needed some humor for the situations we were dealing with at home! I felt like this book went along well with the one above.
In each section, there is a comment (which may or may not be a real comment) from what the author calls a “sanctiparent.” Most of the comments are generally about how they are parenting better than you, and there is a response, that is sometimes wild and outrageous, but still funny. In this book, the author calls a bath what it really is: Waterworld.
There are easy recipes to try, and “dirty ways to trick your toddler into eating.” It’s funny AND practical! There is the list of things you thought you’d never say that you now say, which includes “Crayons do not belong in your nose. I don’t care if you had an itch.” Also, things toddlers say at bedtime, some of which my kid has actually said: “My blanket is too scratchy,” “my butt hurts,” “I wanted to give you one more hug,” (my son currently does this about 324,545 times a night), and “why do we need underwear?”
Again, these books aren’t to be taken too seriously, but they are certainly great for a good laugh, and there is at least one thing that we can all relate to in them. So sit back, prop up your feet, laugh at the stories, and nod your heads in that “I’ve been there and know this all too well” sort of way!
