Recently, a close friend and I were talking about the loneliness in motherhood. We talked about how some of our friendships changed when we brought our babies home and how isolating it can feel in our sometimes mundane routines. It got me thinking about just how many other mamas have gone through, or are going through this right now.
Motherhood is beautiful, but it can be so incredibly lonely.
When we had our twins, I had visions of what our life was going to look like when we brought them home. I thought we would have endless playdates lined up. With the late and long nights, I thought I would have someone to text to get me through them. I thought my friends who were already moms would give me all their unwanted parenting advice. I quickly found myself alone while everyone else went on with their own busy lives.
Instead I took trips to target with two newborns in tow, alone. Doctors appointments with my double stroller and two crying babies, alone. Countless hours in my house alone with the babies. I would get the babies loaded in the car just to go to the drive-thru at Starbucks. With no one to text at the 2AM feed I found myself shopping my feelings on Amazon.
I didn’t expect to feel so isolated and lonely, especially during those first few years. No birthing class or veteran mom prepared me for these feelings.
I really wanted to encourage my friend that this season
of motherhood has an expiration date.
A few years ago, I felt this shift in my journey as a mama. I started to feel connected, find my purpose, and then slowly, joy crept in and replaced the loneliness. The kids started getting more involved in activities, and I found myself with more “me” time. I started to finally make some new mom friends on the soccer sidelines, at the gym, through local mom’s groups, and even reconnected with old friends.
Eight years, and two more kids later, I can finally tell you that it does get better.
Sometimes we get so caught up and overwhelmed with the feeling of loneliness that we forget to put ourselves out there. Sometimes texting an old friend will open a conversation that turns into daily support. You never know if that mom at the park, gym, or school drop-off will become your new best friend, so don’t shy away from being the first to say hi.
If you are really struggling to finding the support you need, please talk to your doctor to get connected with a support group or a mental health specialist.