It is hard to believe that it has been two years since the world turned upside down. I can still vividly remember my last day working in an office. It was March 11, 2020. At the end of the day, I grabbed my laptop before heading home, since my team planned to “practice” working remotely the following day, just in case. What followed was unlike anything I had ever experienced. In what seemed like the blink of an eye, we were in a global pandemic.
All of a sudden I found myself washing my groceries, scheduling Zoom nights with friends, binging the latest Netflix shows, cancelling vacations, and waiting for things to get back to normal. At the time, my daughter was just six months old. I imagined her first playdate, and our first date night as new parents. I thought about our next trip, and how exciting it would be to travel with her.
It has been two years. My daughter is a full-fledged toddler, and I now have a son that is nearly six months old. That play date hasn’t happened yet, and my husband and I have been on two dates outside of the house. There has been loss in our family, and we have brought new life into the world. We have navigated remote work, graduate school, chemotherapy, selling a house, moving states, buying a house, birthing a child…the list goes on and on.
And so, I often remind myself: it is okay to not be okay. And if you’re struggling like I so often am, I invite you to join me in the following practices. Some will resonate, and others might not. Like any advice: take what works for you and leave the rest.
Re-set Your Expectations
If you’re anything like me, you love to set goals, conquer your to-do list, and generally perform well at everything you’re doing. Yet, it’s oh so important to remember that we have collectively and individually gone through so much these past two years (and, we still are). Perhaps you can only realistically accomplish 2 of your 7 tasks each day, and that is okay. Remember, we are all doing our best, and that looks different each day. Give yourself permission to do what you can, and give yourself the same grace you would a friend.
Define and Prioritize Self-Care
I do believe that most of us understand the importance of self-care and still have a hard time prioritizing it. I am here to share an important first step toward self-care: define what it means to you. For many, we imagine drawing a bubble bath, pouring a glass of wine, and diving into a juicy novel. That sounds amazing to me, and is absolutely part of my self-care routine…when I can make time for it. Self-care can also look like: booking a session with a therapist, calling a dear friend, organizing a drawer that’s been bothering you, or going on a Target run without kids. Take stock of what gives you energy, and create space to do that – even if it’s just a five minute meditation before bed.
Give Gratitude
Don’t skip this section thinking that I’m going to encourage you to write down three things you’re grateful for each day (though if that works for you, do it!). Instead, I invite you to practice giving gratitude. Write a note to a friend who means a lot to you. Send a DM to a blogger whose work has influenced you. Genuinely thank the teachers who take care of your children every day. It feels so good to both give and receive genuine acts of gratitude, and I am convinced that it has a multiplier effect, which we all could use right now.
At the end of the day, just remember this: if you are not okay, that is okay. And more importantly, you are not alone. If you need a listening ear, reach out – I would genuinely love to connect and hear your story. We moms are in this together, and together we are stronger. And we will be okay. Even if we aren’t right now.
