I have always wanted to be a mom. When I was in high school, I proudly proclaimed that I would one day have five kids. Now that I’m a little older, I admit that five is probably no longer the plan, but we do plan to have at least one more if the fates allow.
“Over the Moon” Excitement?
When you are pregnant, people get excited for you, particularly women who have children of their own. There is a lot of “aren’t you just over the moon?”, and “I bet you can’t wait to meet her”. While I was certainly excited to be a mom, I don’t know that I would describe my feelings as “over the moon” and it was less that I couldn’t wait to meet her and more that I couldn’t wait to stop feeling enormous.
I wanted to be excited, but it was the kind of excitement you feel when you are about to do something that you have been told is really fun, but you simply can’t imagine what it will really be like, so you don’t really know what to be excited for, exactly. Sure, I’ve been around plenty of babies before, so I looked forward to the snuggles, but before kids, I didn’t really, truly understand the bond you build with that tiny human.
Love at First Sight?
Before my first child was born, I had a really hard time relating to the idea of love at first sight, and even less to the idea of expressing love for an unborn baby. Did I worry about their wellbeing? Of course. Did I do everything I could to provide a healthy growing environment for them? Absolutely. But did I interpret those feelings as love? Not really.
After my daughter was born, all of that changed. I absolutely understand being over the moon excited and feeling like I can’t wait to meet them. Now, I totally get it when parents talk about loving a child they haven’t met yet.
I think about how different my next pregnancy will be for me. Because next time, I’m going to know from the moment I find out, just how much I’m going to love that little baby.
