As moms we want to do it all, but we shouldn’t have to push ourselves past our breaking points. I’ve learned that there comes a point when we need help. Asking for help has always felt like I would be putting a huge burden on someone else. I get caught up in my head with reasons why I shouldn’t ask for help. The pressure to do it all becomes heavy and paralyzing. This year I am practicing self-care by accepting help.
Here are some tips on asking for help:
Start Small
I learned from a friend that accepting even one small thing can release the pressure of having to do it all. A while back when my two littles were congested and not feeling well, a friend reached out asking if she could pick up saline solution for us. It was simple, yet so appreciated. I didn’t feel like it would be an inconvenience to take her up on her offer and her thoughtfulness was really appreciated.
When I’m offering someone else help, I’ve learned to offer a specific need instead of a vague offer like, ‘I’m here if you need anything’.
Practice
Accepting help is a learning process. A big motivating factor to continue to learn this lesson is my children. I find it easier to step outside my comfort zone if I have an excuse to model something for my kids. I want them to learn independence is a wonderful, strong trait to have, but asking for and accepting help is just as strong. Their little ears are always listening, so I try to communicate with my husband when I need an extra hand and how I feel once accepting his help.
Remember the Kindness of Others
While at a memorial service for a friend’s mom, someone told me our friend was surprised to see so many of her friends there. We were there to support our friend and if the situation was reversed, she would be there for us. It was a testament to the type of friend she is and how much she cares for others. I learned that by continuously building connections I have an easier time asking for help when I need it, knowing the favor would be reciprocated.
Take a Break
Chances are, if you struggle with asking for help, you also have a lot on your plate. Balancing everything may be one of your superpowers, but even superheroes need a break. Let the kids sleepover at grandma’s house. Hire a mother’s helper to play with the kids so you can binge And Just Like That. Request a delicious homemade lasagna from a volunteer at Lasagna Love.
As the new year begins, remember to accept the generosity of others and ask for help as needed.
